Live Without Limits Week of 10/7/19

Bryan Golden

Don’t let negative self-talk become part of your vocabulary

No one likes when another person puts them down with disparaging comments. Yet, many people put themselves down through their negative self-talk, along with what they tell others about themselves. Putting yourself down develops into deeply engrained automatic habit over time.
There are various reasons why you might be putting yourself down. Insecurity is manifested in self-depreciating statements, both internally and to others. Since insecure people lack confidence, they belittle their capabilities to themselves as well as when speaking with other people.
When you are constantly the recipient of criticism, there is a tendency to believe the negative comments you hear. As a result, you mimic the same criticism in what you say to yourself and others.
Bad experiences cause you to put yourself down. Failures and disappointments erode your confidence. As you start doubting your capabilities, you diminish what you believe about yourself.
Putting yourself down has serious deleterious effects on your life. It provides excuses for future disappointments, creating negative self-fulfilling prophesies. Putting yourself down taints your perception and alters your reality. Your focus shifts to what you can’t do, along with what is not possible, resulting in self-imposed limitations.
Putting yourself down produces stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. You can’t feel good about yourself while telling yourself, and others all of the things you are no good at, along with the reasons why.
Since putting yourself down causes so much damage, learning how to stop will give your happiness a significant boost. It is readily doable if you are willing to change. All that’s required is a commitment to alter your thinking and behavior pattern.
Start by acknowledging any and all of your accomplishments, no matter how small. Identify each of your strengths. Determine what you are good at doing. It’s OK to ask your family and friends to help identify your best qualities. However, don’t seek out the input of people who also put themselves down. They will not be of much help in making positive changes.
You must replace all negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Always tell yourself what you can do, and what you will do. Tell yourself what you are capable of. Remind yourself of all of your good qualities. Constantly think about what is possible.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are not in a competition. How someone else is living doesn’t have any impact on you. What they have doesn’t make your life better or worse. All that matters are your thoughts and actions.
Mistakes are part of success. Don’t punish yourself for making them. Learn from each mistake so that they are not repeated. Although we all make stupid mistakes, making a mistake does not make you stupid. Every successful person has made lots of mistakes.
Limit the time you interact with negative people. They will encourage you, by example, to continue putting yourself down. Their negativity is highly contagious. It’s a lot harder changing your thinking when you are around these people.
Spend as much time as possible with positive people who are confident with a strong self-image. Ask them for advice on how you can change your thinking. Observe how they don’t put themselves down, or make excuses for failure.
Start correcting any aspects of yourself you feel need improvement. For example, there are positive steps you can take today to make changes to your education, career, weight, physical shape, or interpersonal relationships.
Building yourself up yields immediate benefits. You will be happier. Your stress level will drop. Every aspect of your life will improve.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at or write him c/o this paper.  2019 Bryan Golden


The Press

The Press
1550 Woodville Road
Millbury, OH 43447

(419) 836-2221

Email Us

Facebook Twitter

Ohio News Media Association