Dare to live without limits Week of 6/3/19

Bryan Golden

Words of encouragement can go a long way

Unfortunately, the world is filled with negativity. People are constantly bombarded with reasons they can’t, or won’t succeed. They are conditioned to fixate on what is lacking in their lives. Positive influences are few and far between.
Discouragement floods in from virtually all sources. There is an inundation of reasons for failure. Criticism, apathy, jealousy, and ridicule are all too often the reaction from others when sharing one’s dreams, aspirations, and goals.
Gifts are typically thought of as something tangible. Yet, offering someone a gift of encouragement is priceless. Encouragement feeds motivation. Encouragement can brighten someone’s day, or change their life for the better. A sincere word of encouragement is a truly wonderful gift.
Everyone has their own goals and desires. Encourage a person to follow their own path, not to conform to what you, or someone else believes they should be doing. Although it's possible to successfully accomplish someone else's goals, there's little satisfaction unless it corresponds to their own goals.
Making mistakes is a normal part of learning. More knowledge is gained when something goes wrong than when all goes perfectly as planned. Ironically, criticism is more likely than encouragement to follow a mistake. As a result, mistakes cause fear, along with a negative attitude.
When encountering someone who's made a mistake, encourage them by pointing out how much can be learned. That knowledge is then used to avoid making the same mistake again. Show them that each mistake is a stepping stone to their next success.
Help someone formulate reasons to succeed. A common response to mistakes and adversity is making excuses for failure. This approach is a roadblock to success. Just one meaningful reason to succeed outweighs numerous excuses for failure.
People who constantly make these excuses have developed a victim mentality, where they constantly blame other people or circumstances for their predicament. Encourage them to take responsibility for their situation in order to move forward. Help them understand the benefits that success will bring.
Demonstrate an interest in others by asking questions about what's happening in their lives. They will often volunteer information about problems they are having. Just showing an interest by listening is an encouraging gesture.
Offer suggestions for possible solutions. If you have had any similar experiences, let them know that you have also been through the same type of situation and made it through. Share what worked for you and what you learned.
Sharing examples of other people who have successfully overcome problems is also encouraging. It’s very helpful for someone to see they are not alone in what they are facing. Knowing that other people have made it through similar circumstances is reassuring. It helps build their confidence that they can do it also.
Don’t condemn, ridicule, or criticize. Reprimanding someone with, “I told you so,” is a negative comment which won’t help someone feel better. Making a mistake is bad enough. Receiving derisive feedback on top of that tends to worsen one’s emotional state.
You can become a beacon of encouragement by offering hope and inspiration. Encourage people to find solutions instead of wallowing in problems. Pity parties accomplish nothing positive. Instead, they reinforce negative attitudes and excuses.
Giving the gift of encouragement also benefits you by keeping your outlook positive. Helping others find solutions gives you additional insight in finding the solutions you need. One of the best ways of motivating yourself is by motivating others.
The encouragement you provide will brighten someone’s day and may even have a long-term positive impact. As a source of positive energy, you will also attract more good things into your life.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.  2019 Bryan Golden


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