Dare to live without limits Week of 4/6/20

Bryan Golden

Some thoughts on what it means to really be right

There are aspects of life which exist in a grey area. They are not absolutely right or wrong. Their appropriateness is based on individual goals, desires, and aspirations. Some of life’s choices to which this applies include; career, interpersonal relationships, where to live, hobbies, friends, etc.
Being right with your decisions is beneficial. You want to make sound choices which lead to desirable results. But what about being right with regard to what others are doing? Is it essential to prove to someone that you are right and they are wrong?
The right decision is not absolute. The right decision for you may be wrong for someone else. Even when you may observe someone clearly making a wrong decision, it’s not your role to educate them. However, if someone asks for your advice you are free to offer it.
Each person sees the world based on their perceptions, which then defines their reality. Every individual has their own unique values and goals. An open mind helps you see the world from another person’s perspective. This approach allows you to become more sensitive and tolerant.
Even being right may be a perception. There are those who make mistakes, which lead to unfavorable results, who are convinced they were right. You won’t be able to change their minds, nor is it appropriate to do so.
Everyone makes their own decisions and has to take responsibility for their actions, as well as the consequences. It is not your place to sit in judgment of other people. You may not understand or agree with their decisions, but it’s their decisions to make.
You don’t have to prove anything by being right. Even in circumstances where you are proven right, and the other person is wrong, there’s nothing to be gained by lauding your correct position over someone else. By so doing, they may become resentful, angry, defensive, upset, or bitter.
If a person is looking for, and is open to guidance, show how an alternative choice might have led to more desirable results. Use their situation as a learning opportunity rather than condemning them. Nothing positive is accomplished by putting someone down or making them feel bad. Being kind and compassionate is more important than proving that you were right.
Mistakes are invaluable learning opportunities. When helping someone recover from a mistake, ask guiding questions, rather than lecturing or reprimanding them. They are concerned about correcting any negative consequences caused by their mistake. They don’t care that you were right.
People who think that they are always right close their minds. They aren’t open to new perspectives or improving their own decisions. A closed minded individual is more likely to be wrong due to their unwillingness to consider a situation from many angles.
When you are right, don’t let it go to your head. An inflated ego is not an asset. Being right does not mean you have everything figured out. There is always room for improvement. As good as your decisions may be, look to continually grow and improve.
Your attention should be directed to being right for yourself. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone else. There’s no need to monitor or comment on how other people are living. Analyzing someone else’s decisions is not up to you.
Take appropriate action based on what you want to accomplish. You are not in competition with others. It’s irrelevant what other people are doing, or not doing. Your being right is not dependent on someone else being wrong, or vice versa.
Instead of having a goal of always being right, direct your energy to achieving clearly identified objectives, which will improve the quality of your life and have a positive impact on others.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.  2019 Bryan Golden


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