Dare To Live Without Limits

By: 
Bryan Golden

Don’t be susceptible to a S.N.I.O.P.

Are you a S.N.I.O.P.? A S.N.I.O.P. is a person who is susceptible to the negative influences of other people. This is a common syndrome. We all desire approval from others. Everyone has grown up being conditioned to be concerned about what others think.
Many people tend to be negative, finding problems rather than solutions. So, it's to be expected that the influence of other people is mostly negative. It's only when you pay attention to these negative people that a problem arises.
When you pay attention to those who are negative, a number of things will happen. First, you will alter your path to accommodate the negative input you receive. The result will be the lowering of your ambitions or the abandon of your goals altogether.
Next, you will get frustrated because you'll be adjusting your life to fit someone else's expectations. Even though you may get approval for your accommodations, any feeling of satisfaction on your part will be short lived at best. It's virtually impossible to be happy when you give up control of your life in order to meet another's expectations.
Thirdly, you will begin to doubt yourself. Since any dreams you have are bound to be criticized, the only way to avoid negative comments is to not pursue them. Yet, there are things you want to accomplish. A question you might yourself will be, "If everyone finds flaws with my ideas, is there something wrong with me?"
Once you lose your confidence, your aspirations will seem to become unattainable. Rather than reaching for what you truly desire, you will start making excuses to justify the abandonment of your goals.
If you are a S.N.I.O.P., it's imperative to change your thinking. In order to be in control of your life and destiny, you must tune out the negative influences of other people. The path you chose doesn't require anyone's approval. What's important is for you to be happy with how you are living.
Accept the fact that everyone will have an opinion about your life. The bigger your dreams, the more criticism you will attract. People will offer their thoughts whether you ask or not. However, if you do ask, you invite a flood of input. You can minimize criticism by being very selective when sharing your ideas.
When negative opinions are offered, it is OK for you to ignore them. You never have to explain your actions or justify your plans. Just because someone may challenge your reasoning, there is no need to justify yourself.
Ironically, the family and friends who are closest to you will offer the harshest criticism. These are the same people who know you well enough to really get under your skin. They understand exactly what buttons to push to get you to react.
It will take a lot of self-control to let people's opinions roll off your back. But you have to do it. Engaging others will drain you of energy better spent on making good things happen. You don't have to fight with or insult anyone. Just thank them for their concern and change the subject. Remember, it takes two people to have an argument.
As you consistently refuse to become snared by other's opinions, they will stop offering them. It may take a while, but you will get to this point. Keep reminding yourself that the objective is reaching your goal, not paying attention to the negative influences of other people.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.  2024 Bryan Golden

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