Dare To Live Without Limits

By: 
Bryan Golden

Is it time to re-assess the relationship you are in?

Have you ever been in or had a bad relationship? Perhaps you are involved in one now. Although a full, in-depth analysis of relationship issues is beyond the scope of this column, there are some fundamental concepts that can be addressed here.
Your relationships exist on many levels. Relationships are as unique as the people who enter into them. One person may adore you while someone else avoids you. There will be times when you can't figure out why things don't click.
One of the most common misconceptions of any relationship is that you have the ability to change the way another person thinks or acts. Too many relationships are entered into with the anticipation that the other person will change with time and understanding.
Although any person can change, you can’t make them do it. Everyone has the ability to improve him or herself, if they want to. If you enter into a relationship based on what you think the other person will become, you are doomed to frustration and misery from the start.
If you are not content with who someone is, don’t pursue a deeper relationship. If you are already in a relationship with a person who has not changed as anticipated, you have a couple of options. First of all, remember no one is perfect. Your partner may also be disillusioned about you.
As with other aspects of life, every relationship has good and bad points. If the good points outweigh the bad ones, you might make a strong case for continuing in the relationship. But if you are unhappy with a relationship and the other person isn’t inclined to make a mutual effort to improve it, you have to make some tough choices.
You have to balance a relationship with your happiness. If you so desire, you can choose to leave. Ending a relationship may not be easy but neither is living in misery.
Relationships with relatives pose unique challenges. You didn’t select these people and you can’t choose new ones. If your interaction with them is positive, great – there is no problem. But what about situations where there is friction and acrimony?
Accept your relatives for who they are because you can’t change how they think and act. There’s no point to arguing or fighting. For those who are particularly troublesome or distasteful, minimize the time you spend with them.
Bad relationships can also occur at work. Keep in mind that you are not an indentured servant and changing jobs is always an option. It’s a false premise to believe an employer can’t get along without you or that you can’t survive without them. It’s much easier to resolve problems at work when you don’t feel desperate.
In any relationship, if you give the impression that you will put up with anything, people will treat you accordingly. Demand respect and don’t accept less. You are free to choose with whom you spend your time. Just saying no can get you out of many undesirable situations.
Often, in a bad relationship, one person will blame the other for all the problems. Don't allow someone to squash your self-esteem by belittling you. Many bad relationships are due to a basic incompatibility between two people. There are people who try to elevate themselves by stepping on others.
If you want to extricate yourself from a bad relationship, you don't need to first condemn the other person. Denouncing someone will only make them defensive and bitter and is counterproductive. If you need to scale back or end a relationship, try to do so without making the other person feel bad.

NOW AVAILABLE: "Dare to Live Without Limits," the book. Visit www.BryanGolden.com or your bookstore. Bryan is a management consultant, motivational speaker, author, and adjunct professor. E-mail Bryan at bryan@columnist.com or write him c/o this paper.  2023 Bryan Golden

Category:

The Press

The Press
1550 Woodville Road
Millbury, OH 43447

(419) 836-2221

Email Us

Facebook Twitter

Ohio News Media Association